Habits die hard.
What is a habit? How does it form?
When an action is done repeatedly it forms into a habit. Habit is an established practice of doing something. It is a tendency to act in a particular way. Habits have a powerful effect on thoughts and actions. It can be called a second nature of individuals.
As is our nature difficult to change, so also are habits difficult to change. People generally think how and why did they develop certain habits that make them feel ashamed of or when they unknowingly develop certain habits and get addicted to them.
Habits are not formed instantly. They are developed over a gradual process in a certain period of time, which begins either from childhood or from a phase of difficult period in life. People try to find solace or peace through these habits. The habits developed in childhood may be due to observation and emulation of their surrounding. Parents play a major role in forming habits in children. They may be physical or mental habits developed by imitating their elders. If elders are soft spoken and polite the child will imitate and learn the same, a rude loud behaviour will similarly be inculcated in the tender mind. Habits are highly influenced by the environment when the child is young. Similarly, a person in adolescence or mature age falls prey to the habit of drugs, alcohol, tranquilizers, etc. to avoid tension. But they do not realize that these habits are temporary alternatives as they give them an elated feeling for a limited period of time. In reality it only drags the person into addiction and deterioration of health. Forming good habits requires firm determination, whereas forming bad habits is quite easy and tempting. It is very difficult to get rid of bad habits once they are formed.
Habits come to us as slaves and stay back with us as Masters. They influence our character. Because character is a collection of habits. Good habits form good character, bad habits form bad character. It is well said, “Sow a thought, and reap an act,
Sow an act and you reap a habit,
Sow a habit and you reap a character,
Sow a character and you reap a destiny.”
When a child is not restricted from bad behavior, it develops into a habit. Telling lies, abusing, stealing, etc. these traits are not inborn, but they are developed with every passing day knowingly or unknowingly. When these traits are neglected or overlooked they form regular habits. When they become habits, they become ways of life. The individual finds nothing wrong in it. He tries and succeeds in every possible way to justify his lie, one leading to another. So also are the habits which comprise the entire behavioral pattern of a person. Curbing and controlling these habits can help to change the person. It can help to build a different character. But, as is known, changing habits is easier in the initial years, at the matured stage it requires determination and mental power. At the hyper stage it requires medical and psychoanalytic help to change them completely.
Psychotherapy has proved to be of great help to change mental habits as it treats the person after knowing the root cause of the habits formed. To discard the bad habits and adopt the good ones, to decide the future to be good or bad, everything depends on the inclination of a person. Whether it is towards a peaceful and blissful life or whether it is towards a life full of problems and distress. When we try to find the solution, then the direction of life changes. If we complicate the problems then the complexities of life keep on multiplying infinitely.
One needs to reform attitudes, conduct and behaviour to be a better person because, according to a Chinese proverb, “There are two perfect men, one dead and the other unborn.”
Anger is another habit that is difficult to control. It needs transformation of mental habits. Relaxation, concentration, meditation, etc. which teaches or tames the mind to keep cool and collected, to control the anger and to resist aggression.
Habits are of two types. Physical habits and Mental habits. Mental strength can help to overcome physical habits, but mental habits are much more difficult to control. The mind always helps to overcome physical tendencies that have developed over a long duration like smoking, drinking, etc. Whereas to overcome mental habits flexibility of mind is necessary or else one confronts great difficulties in life.
Plutonius has explained the thought in a very interesting way of how patience and perseverance helps to overcome habits. He said, “Withdraw into yourself and look. And if you do not find yourself beautiful yet, act as does the creator of statue that is to be made beautiful. He cuts away here, he smoothes there, he makes thin line lighter, this other purer, until a lovely face has grown upon his work.”
Thought habits are developed personally. They affect all the people around that person. Whether a lie or anger, whether stealing or cheating, these habits indirectly makes the surrounding dull and unhappy. It directly results in the person’s dissatisfaction over himself. His own behaviour makes him unable to gain peace of mind. After a certain period he becomes unaware of what he says or does. Unruly boasting, praising only himself, thinking himself to be the best and others to be worthless. All his actions make him totally self-centered. He can think of himself and only himself. He can go to any extent to justify himself. This becomes the ultimate goal of his life and he tries every possible way to maintain his ego.
“From anger, delusion arises, and from delusion, bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered intelligence is lost, and when intelligence is lost, one falls down again into the material pool.” -------- Bhagvad Gita.
Habits therefore are the stepping stones of ones entire character or life. The character which is formed by habits and that life which is lived by habits. These habits either ruin life or make it. It is here that we must pay our attention to know that habit formation has such an important role in life. It should not be overlooked while bringing up a child, when nurturing a family, in relationships and in society. Because habits form personalities.
It is only due to the habits that kings have lost their kingdoms, rulers lost their reign. Rich have become poor and the poor have lived a pathetic life. Habits though a fundamental thing or quality can overturn life completely.
To sustain habit for a lifetime or to curb it in time is only in ones own hands. No external body can help in overcoming it. The phrase, “Habits Die Hard” very well justifies it.
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