Ideal Life Companion

Ideal Life – Companion.

     Helena Deutsch in her classical text, ‘Psychology of Women’ says that women are likely to be happiest when they are subordinating themselves in their men.

“They seem to be easily influence able and adopt themselves to their companions and understand them. They are the loveliest and the most unaggressive of helpmates and they want to remain in that role, they do not insist on their own rights-quite to the contrary.”

“They are always willing to renounce their own achievements without feeling that they are sacrificing anything, and they rejoice in the achievement of their companions _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. They have an extraordinary need of support when engaged in any activity directed outward.”

     Raising a family, rearing children, domestic work or small income jobs are definitely something to be proud of. But it should not be made our sole reason for living. In the present age though every women may have a family to fall back on. When she grows old, is widowed, who looks after her? Probably no one. With less finances, no social support and dwindling age, life becomes burdensome for her. Why?  Hadn’t she been an ideal life-companion? Hadn’t she performed her responsibilities and duties?

      “Each step towards healthy self-assertion is consciously or unconsciously resisted.” Says Dr. Symonds. “In relation to their innate abilities, too many women seem incapacitated, unable to realize their full potential.”

Why? What holds them back?

       “Fear.” Says Dr. Symonds.

Fear of what? And Why?

Fear of experiencing the anxiety of living their comfort zones. Since childhood women are taught to be dependent on a father, a husband or a son. They feel they cannot survive without a male companion in a society. So giving up those long built characteristics make them feel torn apart. The dependent pattern has become ingrained in their lives and thoughts and it makes them feel more feminine. The position of women though has changed in the past century, many have moved out of their houses for work and status, but the innate need of a support, of a person to depend on, to lean back on, has always been at the subconscious level.

This is mainly visible in the rural and semi-urban areas of India. Even in the metropolis, women hold good jobs,  positions, social status but that need for a support still remains whether they acknowledge it or not. They give up their entire life to be the ideal life-companion they seldom turn out to be in their male counterpart’s view.

     The requirement for women is not that they should leave their families or support system, their men or their finances, or deny being good companions. The requirement of the ages has been that every life should be lead with a purpose. In their myths for companionship they should not lose their own identities, their existence, and their uniqueness. Because every individual is unique and that uniqueness is given for a purpose. They should be able to control their inner conflicts and know to tackle them. They should know that they are capable and should disentangle themselves from the dependency trap. Being does not necessarily mean leaving back the social structure. It means to be mentally free to do whatever one wishes to do. This freedom gives life its purpose. It is necessary to know yourself, to love yourself, believe in yourself and that belief is the bottom of the spring that lets you spring free.

     Acknowledging and fulfilling the purpose will make life satisfactory, peaceful and worth living. Whether a widow, with low finances and no support system, old age or loneliness, it will give the courage to face and tackle every situation in life.

     “It is a tantamount to a kind of sickness, this blind spot we maintain- the inability (or refusal) to see the connection between false security we connect with being wives and the loneliness and poverty of older, widowed women. We want so desperately to believe that someone else will take care of us. We want so desperately to believe that we do not have to be responsible for our welfare. -----Collette Dowling.

 

On Being Assertive

On Being Assertive.

      As Bryna Taubman puts it, “_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ assertiveness has not been a quality admired in women.” Though the problems of assertiveness are not confined to women, of course.

“Assertiveness is the expression of your own feelings, wants and needs, learning to act on them and having respect for the feelings, wants and needs of those around you.” says Bryna.

      That seems simple but it is not so, especially in Indian Culture. A woman may find it difficult to tell her husband, father or brother that she wants some time, some space for herself. Some women even feel like strangers in a room full of people. Some find difficulty in talking to doctors, lawyers, and strangers. This is entirely due to social conditioning. Generally, men find it easier to make known their positive needs than women do. Though times have changed but still such demands from women are considered derogatory. People do not accept such liberation of women in conservative, traditional families to this day.

      Making assertiveness more simple and learning assertiveness is learning to ask yourself:

What do I want? What do I need? What do I need to ask for? How can I ask for that without making a demand? How can I make it clear that this is important to me? As said by Bryna earlier these are easy questions with difficult answers.

      Here comes the necessity to give importance to the word ‘I’. Getting in touch with that ‘I’ and learning to respond to its needs is what assertiveness is all about.

Now, that does not mean to be self-centered or egoistic. Giving importance to ‘I’ with a selfish outlook will only make situations worse. As is believed in every culture, in every religion, that the ‘I’ is the self, and the self is your own conscience, and your conscience is your supernatural energy or God, as you may believe. The need is to differentiate between the two.

The selfish ‘I’ or the supernatural ‘I’. And for that what we need is control over our mind and thoughts.

“Control is very important part of assertiveness. And it is important from the beginning to learn that you do have control. You can decide when and where to assert yourself.

 You can decide which situations are uncomfortable and where you are satisfied with things as they are. Your chances of getting what you want improve only when you let other people know what you want.

 Learning to put a talent to use is what life is all about.” According to Bryna.

      However, that cannot be possible unless you have a better feeling for yourself. Unless you know what makes you feel good, taking responsibilities, making your own decisions and finally working over it to make them come true. It is a journey made only by the self, by that important ‘I’.

Others may help, push, encourage, but eventually it is the self who has to finish the line. And that’s half the fun. The remaining will be experienced when you reach the end and know it.

 

The Need for Expression

The Need for Expression

    Why does a person need to paint, write, sculpt, sing or dance?

It is to express the self. To express the emotions, the energy that needs to flow. Because when energy stagnates, it produces negative effects. The need for expression is called ART. But this need of art, this need of expression appears absurd, unnecessary to some, just a whim of a whimsical mind.

     Art is a concept known to people only who are aware of the internal form of energy. Who can experience and know the parallel forms of internal and external worlds. Who is aware and believes that life is not just the physical or material self but it is a simultaneous existence in spirit and form.

Art or any expression is the extension of this spirit, while material gains and achievements are extensions of the form.

     When thoughts and ideas take the physical form, they are transformed as a beautiful painting, sculpture, writing, etc. that speaks for itself. They convey the message of the heart through these physical forms. And thus the best thoughts and ideas are conveyed as visible shapes and forms, visible to other people.

     When such art forms are created, out of pure impulse, they form a channel for the flow of energy and it gives immense pleasure and satisfaction to its creator. And when a purpose of serving humanity is attached to that art the achievement is immeasurable.

     Expressions of thoughts and ideas are therefore not a whim, but an absolute necessity. It is the need that lets the self grow, evolve, day after day, to attain that supreme contentment. It is very well explained by Ayn Rand,

“Art does have a purpose and does serve a human need, only it is not a material need, but a need of man’s consciousness. Art is inextricably tied to man’s survival – not to his physical survival, but to that on which his physical survival depends, to the preservation and survival of his consciousness.”

      The example of J.D. Slinger, born in 1919, in Manhattan, New York, the reclusive author of 

‘The Catcher in the Rye’, who died a natural death at the age of 91 explains the purpose very well. The book earned him fame and the title of a ‘Cultural Icon’ in 1951. Over whelmed by his sudden fame, he retreated to a hermit-like existence in Cornish, New Hampshire and fiercely guarded his privacy, as reported in the Times of India.

      What made Salinger do so we do not know. Was it to maintain his creativity or to defend his privacy?

Fifty years in solitude, away from the limelight and still writing. There was purity in Salinger’s separating from the world, whatever his motives. He did not care to be published or to be renowned. He just cared to write, to explore and express himself.

His silence and solitude for half a century speaks for itself and so will his work speak if it is at all to be published. It speaks about the core truth of the need and the affluence of the creative life, of the need for expression in one’s life.

Ego

Ego – The Devil.

Human mind is a device that serves the purpose of ensuring the survival of self or a thing that one identifies with oneself. Survival includes physical survival as well as survival of one’s ideas, opinions, self-conceptions, which result inbeing right and making others wrong. Dominating and not tolerating domination, justifying oneself and invalidating others.

People tend to succumb to their minds. They simply become their MINDS, in the sense that they identify themselves with the cybernetic machinery. From this misapprehension EGO arises and the SELF disappears, ushering in conditions and disorders that impoverish even a successful life. Ego is the functioning of one’s point of view to survive, it means to perpetuate one’s own point of view. An egoistic person will not live to know, but will know to live. Untransformed life that is life in the MIND STATE works to perpetuate problems rather than to solve them, because the person sees only according to his own point of view. Personal point of view is the point from which you view, which you therefore do not see. Your point of view is positional and to get off it, to leave it behind is always uncomfortable and disturbing. An individual can transform only when he learns to see things in different contexts, from other’s point of view.

A simple question arises in one’s mind. From where does EGO emerge?

It emerges from the MINDSET itself. Since childhood, an individual is taught or they learn by observation, situations where they never learn to make compromises and adjustments. They thrust their ideas and opinions on others without being concerned of its effects and outcomes. May it be right or wrong. This obstinate behaviour gradually grows into stubbornness. The stubborn individual justifies his view in any and every situation. It is a personal challenge for him to make others agree with him at any cost. It satisfies his EGO.

How does the EGO breakdown?

It is a good quality to have self sense. Knowing the self is good only if it is free from ego. When a person learns to realize the importance of life, of his need for existence, his duties and responsibilities towards his near and dear ones, the creative impulse emerges. One begins to express something that is more meaningful. When a normal conscious human being surpasses the fears and desires of the separate ego to a certain degree he begins to care for others and tries to do something that has no personal gains.

When the person becomes selfless, all the fear, pain, frustration and anxiety are shredded away. It gives rise to a new awakened, enlightened state of mind. It releases energy that encourages a progressive approach towards life. It gives strength to face life courageously.

“Strength of mind rests in sobriety, for this keeps your reason unclouded for passion.”

                                                                                            _--------------Pythagoras.

Ego gives a stamped identity to a person. From ego stems pride and vanity. Ego is one of the most subtle feelings, on can ever experience. All other vices need something or someone to react or interact, but ego needs nothing but the self.

Humbleness is the treatment for ego. Humility does not come easily. While it is possible to control our cravings and desires, it is extremely difficult to subdue our ego. Cultivating humility is to see and treat everyone equally. To err is human, but it requires humility to admit one’s mistakes and still more humility to accept that the other person is right and therefore better than you, no matter who he is. It is said that, “Enlightenment is your Ego’s biggest disappointment.”

Due to ego, one gets easily caught with the self and forgets the surrounding. He becomes pompous, with artificial behaviour. The expression, ‘swollen with pride’, is a very accurate description of someone under the influence of ego. He becomes distorted and has vision only for the self. In other words a self-centered person. He can never give regards to anyone else or have respect for other people’s ideas and opinions. It creates friction and non cooperation from others. It ruins relationships and social status. It harms only the self, because others try to keep away from such self-centered person. He is left out alone in this overcrowded world. Due to the misidentification of the self with the body, mind and false ego, one always feels incomplete and insecure; this makes the individual strive for more worldly possessions and pleasures. In reality gaining nothing.

 When as individuals, we develop elevated consciousness, the ego vanishes, and the mind acquires receptivity to new ideas, that is when the closed minds become open minds, and that is when a person begins to live life in reality.

As Herman Melville says, “We cannot live only for ourselves; A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.”

B +ve

B +ve. 

It is not about the blood group, but about the attitude to “Be Positive”. In the sms language the thoughts have contracted to single letters and coded language. People’s thoughts and characters have also contracted from a deep rooted cultural etiquette to superficial behavior. The depth in thoughts and words are lost somewhere in the fast paced lifestyle. NO wonder after sometime our thoughts and words, our script and letters will be left only with dots and dashes. With more blank thoughts and blank messages on the screen of life. Because, thoughts are the causes and conditions are its effects.

As exercise keeps the body free of illness, similarly, a positive mind helps to keep away from illnesses. There is a deep relation between body and mind. Our mental condition effects directly to the body. Our thoughts, thinking method, emotions and beliefs frame our health and eating habits. Positive thinking leads to complete good health and negative thinking is the root cause of every illness.

A person’s way of thinking shapes his character. Theosophy explains that every thought however fleeting, leaves a seed in the mind of the thinker. These seeds make a large tree of thoughts. These thoughts are regulated in the positive or negative way. The more you encourage positive thought; more the mind gets accustomed to accept those thoughts. The more you encourage negative thoughts the more they make your thinking power and attitudes curbed to that sphere of self-made, self-centered world. These thoughts determine one’s character. As said earlier, Thoughts are the causes and conditions are its effects.

Behind every disease or illness, there are two definite causes, external and internal. For example, a person who is used to smoking and the environmental pollution, both lead to external causes for cancer, whereas his indifferent and unconcerned attitude towards people and society, his sadness and anger against them is the internal cause for cancer. Each and every human emotion is related to a particular type of illness or disease. May it be mental or physical. When negative thoughts are replaced by positive thoughts, the physical conditions start changing; the body becomes more healthy and active. We alone have the choice to create our thoughts and develop the kind of impressions that make our actions more positive.

Some harmful negative thoughts are:-

·        Not accepting the self, trying to find faults in the self.

·        Remembering the past bad experiences and not letting it erase from the mind.

·        Blaming circumstances, allowing them to take charge over the self.

·        Thinking more and more about future.

·        Trying to be a perfectionist. One must not forget that God alone is perfect. Do not expect perfection from one and all around you.

·        Being afraid of the changes that come along in life and their effects.

·        Always keeping a fear of negative results and not trying to do anything worth.

·        Thinking life and work as a burden.

·        Encouraging anger, jealousy, and hatred. Not encouraging healthy and knowledgeable thoughts.

·        Not accepting responsibilities.

·        Obstinate mindset. Inability to accept or understand other’s point of view or opinions.

·        Keep a very strong ego, which needs to be satisfied at any cost.

To overcome these negative aspects the person should try to change the mindset, control the mind and tame it to accept the outer world as it is. To achieve mental peace and good health, it is necessary to have a broad receptive mind, which can absorb the positive thoughts like water in a sponge.

Some steps to adopt the positive ways of life are:  

·        Try to slow your pace in life. Always being in a hurry, running around doing nothing constructive or useful tires the mind. Because the mind does not get the satisfaction of achieving something from any of these works. Slow your pace, relax. Give the mind a few minutes everyday to cool, calm down, stay devoid of thoughts. Make it blank. It is the best way to rejuvenate the mind.

·        Take rest. Relieve the body and mind after exertion. After working continuously for 40-50 minutes take rest. It does not mean lying down on the bed. A person can rest even while sitting on a chair, closing the eyes, relieving the muscles and distressing the whole system for 3-5 minutes.

·        Pamper yourself. Try to do something that pleases the mind. Read a book, look out of the window, and talk to a friend. Anything that makes you feel better works wonders on the effects of monotonous routines.

·        Make a list of daily work. Arrange it according to its importance. Do the more important first and leave the less important for later times.

·        Do not hesitate to take help from others. Give first preference to your health. Taking an overload of work can leave you exhausted and incapable of completing the task. It may lead to health hazards. Divide your work with others. Learn to say ‘NO’ when required.

·        Appreciate your own self. It boosts your self confidence.

Be happy; keep a smile on your face. It helps to de-stress the facial muscles and relaxes them. A tensed face slows down the blood flow in them. 

·                    When negative thoughts like anger, hatred, jealousy arise in the mind, make yourself aware of them and try to divert the mind to more pleasant thoughts. At such times slow, deep breathing helps in controlling the mind.

·        Be generous. Express gratitude when someone lends a helping hand. It improves social relations.

·        Develop the hobby of reading. Learn to take the company of books, because books are the best source of knowledge. And also by engrossing the self in the books you will be away from the chaos of the external world and it will relax the mind. Any other hobby like painting, embroidery, bird-gazing, star-gazing, brings a variety in the otherwise dull life and draws away the depression and unhappiness and makes you feel fresh.

·        Play with children for sometime. It takes you back to your childhood, where innocence and happiness were the major factors of life. Leave back the maturity of life.    

The most important thing is to fill your life with enthusiasm and activity. Stress and isolation are the worst enemies of health. Learn to open your mind. There is joy in learning and accepting new possibilities. As said by Henri Matisse, “There are always flowers for those who want to see them.”

A simple example of positivity can be taken from devotion. We know that praying to God is always encouraged in solitude, in silence. One can pray to god anywhere at any time. May it be at home, at the office, in a bus, almost anywhere. Yet, many people continue with the daily ritual of going to the places of worship like temples, church, mosques. We hear people saying that visiting temple or church gives them divine peace. It is only because these places have a different field of vibrations. One may not think of praying between a noisy crowd, in a disco or a bar, where the vibrations are totally opposite than those in places of worship.

On a whole, all the people who visit the temple or church pray and have good thoughts, positive thoughts in their minds, their heart full of devotion and they are at the best of their behavior as long as they are present at the place of worship. They visit the place with immense faith and positive thought. It is this positivity that creates at atmosphere of ambience and peace. It is the silence and quiet environment that gives solace to the mind. It reflects their thoughts and creates a spiritual field. It gives peace and satisfaction and uplifts one’s conscience.

As Psychologists say, if you really want something in life, you have to learn to believe you can get it, be positive about it and focus and concentrate on the means and ways to achieve it. This positivity will make you achieve your goals in life.

“When we create something, we always create it first in a thought form. If we are basically positive in attitude, expecting and envisioning pleasure, satisfaction and happiness, we will attract and create, people, situations and events which confirm to our positive expectations,” as said by Shakti Gawain.

                                                                            By: Toral Pradhan.

Happiness Unperturbed

Happiness Unperturbed.

     Happiness does not mean doing anything, it is pure happening. According to Allan Watts,

“Happiness is not a result to be attained through action, but a fact to be realized through knowledge. The sphere of action is to express it, not to gain it.”

     The definition of happiness varies with every single individual and with age. For some happiness are material possessions, for some spiritual upliftment, whereas for a cross-section of people it is neither material nor spiritual, nor does it depend on others.

How then do we get a complete picture of happiness?

     People can be happy as and when they themselves make up their mind to be. Some modern schools plan to ‘teach’ happiness in schools, to advise and advertise with marketing techniques to sell happy behaviour. They conduct classes in ‘cheeriness’ and ‘contentment’ as they think the time has come to ‘teach’ happiness. However the innumerable attempts to find and teach happiness leaves the goal and the destination blurred, unclear, a more perplexed state of mind as to where and how can happiness be found.

     According to a recent analysis conducted by a British scientist, Adrian White, through the data published by UNESCO, CIA, WHO, to create a global project of subjective well being. The first world map of “Happiness” was prepared. India is the 125^th happiest country in the world map of happiness. Denmark is the happiest country in the world, standing on the first position and Barundi in Africa is the most unhappy. Larger populations are not associated with being happy countries. According to Adrian White,

“The concept of happiness, or satisfaction with life, is currently a major area of research in economics and psychology most closely associated with new development in positive psychology.”

‘The Times Life’ supplement of the Times of India, conducted a survey among 17 to 45 years old in cities like Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Delhi, Pune, Hyderabad, Kolkata, Lucknow and Mumbai. Men and women had different happiness quotients. As many as 64 percent of women and 58 percent of men defined happiness as emotional contentment.  The surveys also revealed that Indians have innumerable reasons to be unhappy. Like hypocrisy, corruption, loneliness, boredom, loss of family and friends, uncertainty, betrayal, back-biting, negative people around them, fights in the family, etc. etc. Whereas the reasons for happiness are quite limited. 

     At the grass-root level, the happiness quotient does not depend on these theoretical observations. Happiness can be taught by teaching the qualities of patience, forgiveness, adjustments, satisfaction, etc. As poverty and greed are the worst enemies of happiness. Happiness has nothing to do with material gains or spiritual achievements, because it is a contented state of mind that brings happiness. When this contentment is not achieved, frustration and agitation creeps into one’s mind, taking him to adverse actions. Only if this contentment could be achieved, then the farmers at Vidarbha would not have committed suicide, college and school students would not attempt suicide by jumping from high storey buildings, as happiness comes from emotional satisfaction. But in the present era the reasons for emotional disturbances have increased to great levels, making it more difficult to attain peace of mind.

     A British economist, Richard Layard in his book, ‘Happiness’ says, ‘We should rededicate our society to the pursuit of happiness rather than the goal of dynamic efficiency. We need to take happiness seriously.’

     Most people at some point of time in their life are overcome by negative feelings and thoughts. The real trouble begins when this negativity becomes a habit. Negative feeling is a combination of different emotions like fear, anxiety, panic and sadness. Negative thinking also leads to many physical problems, mental stress, hypertension, heart problems, sleeplessness, etc.

 This natural negativity can be overcome to be happy. By following some key rules and using mind games every individual can eventually lead a fulfilling and contented life.

     Positive psychology was developed by Martin Seligman from the University of Pennsylvania. It focuses on how people can flourish and not on how they can become depressed. Inherent character traits and childhood experiences account 50 percent of the happiness potential. The rest can be controlled by the individual himself. As Elbert Hubbard put it, “Positive anything is better than negative nothing.”

     One key to happiness is to cultivate flow activities, hobbies or time consuming activities in which a person gets completely engrossed even forgetting the time.

     The second key is to keep the self accompanied by friends or loved ones.

According to psychologists, relationships should be intimate and should include great deal of self disclosure to result in high levels of happiness.

The central finding is that happiness can be promoted by learning to control and avoid negative thought.

Negative thoughts such as fear, boredom, and embarrassment are only over reactions and they can be controlled.

     We may not that most celebrities after achieving high status in society and gaining unlimited wealth, still remain unsatisfied, unhappy. They then wish t o do activities that give contentment to their soul. Like Bill Gates who said, “For us, happiness isn’t materialistic anymore. But trying to help those who need our resource.”

Another example is of former US President, the octogenarian Noble Laureate, Jimmy Carter, who constructed 100 houses for the poor at Malavli Village near Lonavla in Maharashtra. He has built homes for people around the world.

What is it that pulls these people out from the luxury of their palatial homes, to the sunny and dusty roads of India and Africa, to the slums and towards humanity?                  

The only reason is the quest for happiness, to seek contentment. Happiness that no amount of wealth, possessions, property and position can give. Happiness that lies only in our soul, where the only need is to find it. To search for it in small acts that brings so much of satisfaction. The feelings of brotherhood and co-operation, of helping and guiding others without expecting anything in return, serving the sick and the needy.

These activities do sound like social activities, but then man is a social animal. He cannot survive alone and cannot live a life of isolation to achieve happiness.

     Man does not need a mirror to see himself but he needs a transparent glass through which he can see people, society, and life around him. As the story goes in my previous article on ‘Gift of giving’ only then can his feelings of love, happiness, sadness, need, can be understood by him. Man need not live like a stone in a desert, but the need is to live like a beautiful stone artifact in the garden surrounded by colours, flavours, and beauty. Happiness comes with co-ordination, by knowing to tackle different people in different ways and by leaving behind the stubborn, obstinate nature, by overcoming negative thoughts and embracing change. A sage  living in a deep forest all by himself will not be happy, nor will a topmost celebrity who is always living among crowds of people be happy, unless they try to gain something for the soul, that brings them peace and tranquility. The sources may be varied, the routes may be different, but the destination will be one for all. And that is to follow the rules of nature, to believe in one supernatural power, to follow the path of humanity. As humanity has no caste, no religion, no boundaries, so also happiness has no caste or culture, no religious differences.

     The new generation has unbelievable and unrealistic expectations and desires. These desires and expectations can not be stopped but they need to be deviated towards more practical and sensible ways of achieving them. Towards more positive attitudes. Happiness is not different for the rural or urban people. May it be the major area of research, but the root cause can be inculcated from individual homes, from childhood.

    Modern methods of seeking happiness are through meditation and concentration. It is very effective and practical way of learning to control the mind and actions. It serves the purpose of keeping the mind and body in your command and thus bringing about a unity among them. It produces desirable results as it changes the aggressive, destructive, negative thoughts to positive thinking and happiness. It is the feeling of eternal bliss, of not being affected by others achievements and possessions, because every individual on earth has his own specific purpose of existence, one cannot be compared to the other. As the saying goes, “There is a cure for need, but there is no cure for greed.” When greed decreases, automatically happiness increases.

     The term ‘unperturbed’ means without concern or worries. That is what can be called as complete happiness, without any flaws. This kind of happiness radiates on a person’s face and makes the person stand out in a crowd.

‘Smile- it increases your face value’ is a famous cliché, but it is true to the core. A radiating smile from the heart shows happiness from within and also gives happiness to those around. It costs nothing but gains a lot. Because sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but at times your smile can be the source of your joy and also of others.

To put it in short, “Be humble to be happy.

International Women's Day

International Women’s Day.

     Every day is a Women’s Day.  A woman has to make her own day regardless of her circumstances and surroundings. It needs courage and confidence. To celebrate one day of the year for the occasion is to insult the women, who do not attain any special status in society. One day is celebrated as Women’s Day, leaving 364 days to be Men’s Days, which indirectly glorifies the male dominated society. Does it justify the liberated independent women status we are trying to attain?

     The history of International Women’s Day is a history of taking action. The event originated in 1908, when women garment makers in New York demonstrated to demand better working conditions. They worked in appalling conditions, earned half of men’s wages, died prematurely from poor health and did not have the right to vote.

     In 1910, an international conference of women resolved that each year a day should be appointed to raise a voice for women’s demands. Since then, International Women’s day (IWD) has been celebrated around the world each year on 8th March. From its inception IWD has stood for equality between men and women.

     Going back to the history of IWD, the first IWD was held on 19^th March, 1911 in Germany, Austria, Denmark and some other European countries. This date was chosen by German women because on that date in 1848, the Prussian King, faced with an armed uprising had promised many reforms, including an unfulfilled one of votes for women.

     The most memorable IWD was held in Petrograd (now Leningrad) in March 1917, when workers were locked out of the Putilov armaments plant on March 7^th, the women of Petrograd began to storm the streets. The wives, daughters and mothers of soldiers, previously as downtrodden and oppressed as prostitutes, demanded an end to their humiliation and angrily denounced all the hungry suffering of the past years. These women launched their first revolution in 1917. Since that time, IWD has experienced many ebbs and flows as a day that helps to push women’s issues onto the political agenda.

     On the 50^th anniversary of IWD in 1960, as many as 729 delegates from 73 countries met at a conference in Copenhagen. It adopted a general declaration of support for the political, economical and social rights of women.  In 1972, the United Nations proclaimed 1975 as The International Women’s Year, in order to promote gender equality and development for women along with world peace. During this year in 1975, IWD was given official recognition by the UN and was taken up by many governments who had not previously known of its existence. The same year also focused on the role played by women in the public life against social resistance. While examining the history of the social reform movement in the 19^th century and the freedom movement of our country, we realized the glorious contribution of Indian women towards social reforms and the liberation of our country. It makes us realize that Indian women have a great potential and can generate social transformation.

    The world conference held in Mexico City adopted the world plan of action in 1975 with great regard to promotion of employment, health care and education for women. In 1980, the General Assembly of the UN adopted International Development Strategy. At the world conference of the United National Decade for women held in Nairobi, Kenya during July 1985, a document called ‘Forward Looking Strategies for the Advancement of Women’ , from 1986 to 2000 was adopted the consensus among the representatives of 150 countries.

     The government of India appointed a committee on the status of women in India to examine different aspects of women’s survival struggles and gave recommendations to enable women to play their full role and contribute for the national development. In 1974, this committee submitted its landmark report “Towards Equality”, which revealed that the process of transformation since Independence did not improve the status of women in India.

This made the planners and the policy makers realize that Indian women still face to be the declining sex, economically marginalized and suffer atrocities and discriminations within the existing family law. To safeguard women’s interest and take an affirmative step the Sixth Five Year Plan, for the first time in the history of the Planning Commission of India, allotted a special chapter on women, but it was dismissed in the Parliament. As a result the print media focused attention on it and a year late it became a major focus of public inquiry due to the International Women’s Year. Indian government then adopted a National plan of Action for women, keeping in mind the recommendations of the report after it got a mandate from the parliament. This report forced our policy makers to shed away their complacency about the high status enjoyed by the Indian women or to assume that the culture of India assures empowerment of women. It brought to the fore the grey realities in the lives of Indian women.

     Of course, much has improved since then, but we still have some way to go to achieve equal opportunities for women, throughout the world. It is about remembering the battle long fought to build a society that is just and fair to all its members. A society in which diversity, tolerance, safety, social justice and equality between men and women is given priority. Does India in the run have a platform for the women at the grass root level?  The rural women, the women of the minority communities are unaware of these rights and celebrations. There is no celebration in the lives of those women who have no access to education, to socialize, to personal liberty, freedom of thought and speech and economic independence. Nothing belongs to women in orthodox, conservative families. Though a home to multiple cultures, India has always stood the same for women of every culture.  The reason is the male dominated culture that is deep-rooted since time immemorial. Nothing belongs to women, not even their names, which personifies her identity is changed after marriage. Everything is ‘given’ or ‘thrust’ upon them. They physical and mental torture in their homes. They are unaware of their counterparts celebrating one day in their remorseful whole year as a day for establishing their identity. It is but a day that reminds ground realities of women’s world.

     Many reforms are made, government has taken many positive steps towards the empowerment of women. But it is the duty of one and all to support these reforms by changing their ‘mindset’. Every man and every woman should encourage equality and independence.

     Betty Freidan, an American, who ignited the feminist movement, wrote in her book, The Feminine Mystique, --- “A woman has got to be able to say, and not feel guilty who am I, and what do I want out of life?  She mustn’t feel selfish and neurotic if she wants goals of her own, outside of husband and children.”

The book changed many women’s lives, it opened women’s mind to the idea that there actually might be something more. And for the women who secretly harbored such unpopular thoughts, it told them that there were in fact other women out there like them who thought there might be something more to life.

     International Women’s Day celebrations are made pompous with parties, dancing and enjoying for a certain section of society. In its stead 365 days of the year should be lived with status and dignity by women, glorifying their role not for just one day but for all the days, reflecting and celebrating life.