The Test

The Test of Humanity

How do we define Humanity?

The condition of being human, human being as a whole or having sympathy and kindness towards others. Do we fulfill these conditions for living in a society of human beings?

A universal question -- Do we serve the meaning and purpose of our existence?  Arises in the mind of every individual. As Tennessee Williams writes ----"Life is an unanswered question, but let's still believe in the dignity and importance of the question."

What meaning can we give to life, what purpose can we serve, other than the service of humanity? Man lives for man and not for the other objects on the earth. He lives to be with the self and for the self, and for his fellow beings who are like him. It is a widely used cliché that, man is a social animal, but it is undoubtedly the truth. He needs to deal with people of different types in his day to day life. He needs to learn to co-operate with others to maintain peace in the society. He also needs to find a place for himself in society and be aware about his position, his obligations towards society.

"Withdraw into yourself and look. And if you do not find yourself beautiful yet, act as does the creator of a statue that is to be made beautiful, he cuts away here, he smoothes there, he makes this line lighter, this other purer, until a lovely face has grown upon his work."--- Plotinus.

Like the creator of the statue, we need to work on building ourselves, to bring out that inner beauty on our face, the beauty of the soul and character. As gold can be tested by rubbing, pricking, heating, melting and beating, similarly human beings can be known by their knowledge, nature, qualities and work.

A person whose presence encourages comfortable atmosphere for all is a great person. It symbolizes his open heartedness. A person whose presence creates tension, discomfort, who induces fear amongst people, who suppresses other's individuality for his self ego, who spoils the occasion due to personal differences and hatred, such persons though they think themselves to be great, their characters reflect defective upraising. They shun progress and live a stereotype, channelized life. They consider others to be useless and are never clean hearted. They always hate others for no proper reason, find faults and never give respect to anyone. Thus, they never gain respect from others. To be called great and being great in reality has a vast difference.

Thoughts, words and behaviour give greatness to man. When good thoughts are absorbed and adopted in practical life, they change the character and enhance the greatness in a person. Where there is love there is humility. One would not behave arrogantly with his loved ones. Humility is a rare virtue, so one should try to cultivate it. It means living with the sense of being a part of the creation. This realization brings humbleness when we get rid of ego, pride and vanity disappear, and we can no longer hurt others. When we develop humility we no longer suffer from pride of wealth, position, knowledge or power.

Every individual wishes to achieve greatness, which can distinguish them from the ordinary. Everyone wants to be somebody, everyone wants to shine. And then every action is performed with the aim of becoming the greatest. This brings competition, rivalry, jealousy, envy and at times intense feeling of hatred because he thinks that the others are preventing him from realizing greatness that he deserves. And thus, he leaves behind his true greatness, he originally had.

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." --- writes Henry Thoreau.  It is true to the core that if we wish to bring in humility we will have to think and work towards it. The thought of humility should be engraved in the mind to an extent that we can follow it seriously. This is the time when a reform in attitude towards life is required. One should learn to differentiate between image and reality. Most of our activities are centered around reflection and not reality. Whatever we see in a mirror, is a reflection, an image of our self not reality. Treating the reflection as real is the root cause of distress and agonies in life.

Once a bird entered a room which had a mirror. It sat before the mirror and started pecking at its own image in the mirror thinking it to be another bird. It felt distressed and anxious. By pecking over the image it was trying to hurt the other bird with its full strength. But it did not understand that it was hitting its own image. It is an illusion and in the process it hurts it own beak. Like the bird hurting itself, every individual hurts the self fighting with the reflection. He tries to portray a false image in society and to do that he hurts his original self. It has been since time immemorial that man has not known or understood who his real opponent is. It is the people out there or is it his own self that he is fighting against. This understanding can dawn only when he understands his own conduct and behaviour.

The greatness he achieves in his life turns him to an extravagant and arrogant, boastful and egoistic person, who forgets that true greatness lies in his modesty and humility. Humility is rare, because to have it you want or need nothing and if you do have it, you get everything. Humility is freedom from the anxiety of having the satisfaction of being honoured by others. Pride, the opposite of humility makes us crave for honour from others as a source of happiness. Pride breaks relationships whereas love builds bridges of relationships.

Not only society, but even in a family, there should not be a dictator's rule. Because it is always the home and the family from where every individual's character is moulded. Maintaining each individual's self respect and taking tasks from them is the true art of life.  Abraham Lincoln once said, "Nearly all men can stand adversity. But if you want to test a man's character, give him power." Because True power, which is said to be the ultimate aphrodisiac, lends the illusion of a high that gives people a sense that they can indulge in any wanton act - without complete impunity. A bossing nature, power and obstinate attitude does not allow the progress of others may it be wife, children, family or your colleagues. The dominance of one person can harm the others in several ways.

By absorbing the true principles of humanity man can understand his religion, absorbing good qualities keeps him away from evils, hearing gives him knowledge and learning the logics and philosophies of life leads him toward knowing the self which in turn helps in achieving peace for the self and for others. True knowledge illuminates life. It shows the brighter side of life and takes away ignorance. It teaches humility, love and brotherhood. As the value of a person increases with his knowledge, similarly life improves with his nature. His character can only make him great. And character is not a single quality. It is a collection of virtues imbibed in a person from his childhood, through adolescence and adult stages of life. Attachments between parents and children, family ties, serve the purposes of survival. This strength and security are related to the parent-child interactions, to the interactions in a family. Characters are built through values and religion. Humility, charity and truth are the pillars of a strong character.

Characterless people are like berries, smooth and soft externally but hard internally. Whereas people with great characters are like coconuts, hard externally but smooth, clean and pure internally. Characterless knowledge is like a flower without smell. Such people prove to be harmful to society.  Addiction is considered to be a bad habit, but addiction to gain good knowledge is advantageous. Man should use his power, strength and intellect to control himself, to curb his mind from straying. It is true that man can make everything possible if he desires to do so. But there are very few people who really want to do anything. The world is full of boastful people who can talk great things but can do nothing. Knowledge is of three types, the best, the mediocre, and the worst. Which type of knowledge do we want to gain and absorb depends only on our self, no other person can dictate it to us. Because it is this knowledge, the type of knowledge we choose, that will shine in our life. That will give radiance to life. It is not important where a person lives but it is very important how he lives, a bad environment can also produce a true personality and a good environment can also produce an evil person. As Jawaharlal Nehru puts it, ---"It is now clear that science is incapable of ordering life, A life is ordered by values. "

The founder of ISKCON, Srila Prabhupada says, - "One's greatness has to be estimated by the ability to tolerate provoking situations." Are these great personalities products of some other world or do they belong to the same society, same world we live in? They are the individuals who have absorbed and adopted qualities and virtues in life. It is not for their success or fame that they give such statements. It is their characters, their thoughts that come out as words. That they wish to share with one and all.

The test, the appraisal of humanity is not to be gauged in a day, it is a lifetime process. It is the test that we give throughout life.. In each and every word we speak and every action we perform. It is not that th self can measure humanity. It is the quality that can be noticed by others through the person's attitude, thoughts and behaviour. It is this very quality of humility, of humanity that the world at large needs the most. Amidst the terror and sorrow people face in every country, in every society, in every home.

Frantic worker

The Frantic Worker.   

A wife, a mother, a worker, a daughter, a housemaid, a this, a that. How many roles do women play? Why does she do so? Why do they play these multiple roles? And what are its causes and effects?

The negative effects of these multiple roles play havoc in their lives. Women may or may not be aware of it. Fatigue, anxiety, resentment, depression, other health problems are its negative effects. 

Why do women drive themselves frantic or crazy with overwork? It is because they have an inner conflict that they do not wish to show the world. She wants to prove herself and others that she is capable of multitasking. The reason may be gender panic or low self esteem. She backs from her ambitions, accepts homemaking, or she may go to work outside the home. But she never leaves the house. She is not able to make herself completely free or independent of her home or family matters. Sitting in her office she worries about her domestic work or her responsibilities. And this double burden tears her apart and she tries to hide it from the world by becoming a frantic worker. She does not give herself that time to think for herself and her needs and wants.                     “Husbands no longer earn enough in our inflation bloated economy to support their families, so they encourage their wives to get out and earn. But few husbands are willing to do housework. Today’s men want his woman to work at two jobs; one is outside the home, the other inside home. And all the same remain the traditional dominating male. These create conflicts in women’s life, who is conditioned to play a dependent role throughout her life. Though modern woman has changed her garb, she tries to disguise the conflict through drudge work.                            

   As Colette Dowling puts it, “Work, especially if it’s conceived of as the pursuit of one’s own personal development an not just ‘helping out with the bills’ is a way of separating or individuating oneself. Thus, it can be experienced as a going-away from the other scary business indeed. Better to hang back in the marriage. ‘I really care about my family’ becomes the rationale for making a major retreat in life.”                                                  She further says, “Most of us have not yet made a true decision about our lives. Trying to maintain a situation in which we give up neither on independence, nor our dependence, drains us of energy. Consciously, we blame men for not changing, but unconsciously we are willing to have them stay the way they are.”   

And that makes all the difference, to us, to them.

Stress

Stress. Can you manage it?

    Stress is  the inability to cope with a real or imaginary threat to one’s mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well being, which results in a series of psychological responses and adaptations. It can be caused by good and bad experiences. Stress can not always be avoided. Every individual faces it at one time or other during his life period. Some thrive in stressful situations, while others reach exhaustion.

     Stress is caused by two types of emotional disturbances. External and Internal disturbances. The external disturbances arise out of family responsibilities, economical problems, quarrels, differences in opinions, etc. and cannot be controlled by the self. Internal disturbances can be controlled by the self as they have personal reasons behind them like sickness, tension, overwork, etc. The personal disturbances can also be changeable or unchangeable. Acquired qualities, personality, behaviour, expectations, can be changed. Whereas nature of a person cannot be changed as it is inborn. But nature can be controlled. It is necessary but difficult to control nature. Also, if nature is not controlled, man becomes a slave of nature and if it is controlled, he can become its master.  Nature can be controlled externally through behaviour and internally through understanding.

Nature of a person depends on three major aspects.

1)      Physical aspect – Appearance is what makes our physical nature. If we are fat we wish to become thin and vice versa. One must learn to accept the self in its original form.

2)      Mental aspect – The mental capacity of every human being differs from the other. We must avoid comparisons and imitations.

3)      Personality aspect – There are normally three types of personalities. 

• Aggressive – This type of people have a superiority complex.
• Assertive – These types of individuals have the equality complex and are considered most idealistic.
• Submissive – These individuals suffer from an inferiority complex.

All types of personalities have positive and negative aspects to them. J

     Resilient people accept their responsibilities in life and they understand what has gone wrong, so that they can fix it. They are able to cope because they learn to deal with situations that cause stress and its adversities.

     Stress can be positive or negative. It may be a sense of heightened concentration or of continual sense of being geared up and unable to relax. One’s personality, behaviour and life style influences his stress level. Constant excessive demands in life result in physical exhaustion, fatigue, high BP, insomnia, etc. Its projections are anger, hatred, boredom, frustration, etc.It forms difficulties in studies, disturbed concentration at work, headaches, etc.

     Man is given a mind, body, relations, circumstances, friends, memory, business, everything. Nothing is new, nothing is discovered by man. Whatever we think we have discovered was already there, but it was covered (undisclosed) due to human ignorance. This covered has now changed to discovered. Man has discovered the different ways to combat stress caused by these discoveries. He has realized t he difference between the changeable and the unchangeable things and realities of life.

     Stress management teaches to adopt this method. It teaches to accept the self, the things around us and the circumstances. It teaches to accept the world as it is. It helps to learn to make adjustments. Not to keep expectations from others, not to be a perfectionist and to forget the past. Man should perform his duties and not expect rewards. To act and not to react, because rewards are of four types.

1)      That which meets our expectations.

2)      Which is more than our expectations.

3)      Which is less than our expectations.

4)      Completely unknown.

When any one type of reward is achieved man strives for the other type and therefore faces dissatisfaction and sorrow which leads to stress. When the reality of performing duties without expecting results is accepted, it eliminates stress.

Duties performed with dedication and without any expectations, give pleasure, peace and satisfaction. It results in relief from stress.

     Environmental stress is based on different factors as pollution, noise, unsafe environment, traffic, riots, terrorism, etc. Work related stress emerges when a person works out of his field of interest. It bores and frustrates him. The interference of others at work place, dull environment, competition, multitasking and incapable colleagues affect their stress severely. The person starts complaining about self, family, circumstances, blaming others for every situation, and his efficiency in work starts deteriorating.

Mental dissatisfaction makes a person feel unwanted and useless, he finds life full of limitations, and he desires freedom. These thoughts make a place in his mind, demanding answers. He often asks himself, ‘Why do such things happen to me only?’ He then tries to change himself temporarily and find peace and satisfaction but in vain. This further leads to severe stress. But according to psychotherapy, stress less life cannot be achieved unless we try to stop changing everything around us. The need is to accept everything as it is, even the self, and learn to live with it. Everything in the world is lifeless. It has no capacity to give us happiness or sorrow. Happiness lies within you. We need to know our inner self, the soul. And the soul has no limitations. If this fact is known, peace need not be sought, it will be there with you. As stress originates from the self it cannot give happiness, sadness, advantages or disadvantages, it remains just as it is. No material gain can give peace and happiness forever.

     When we admire the natural things like birds, stars, etc. we accept them as they are. We experience completeness in them and do not try to change anything about them. Therefore, we find happiness in them. They relieve us of any objective thoughts and we do not complain about anything against them. But normally we do not accept other things in the same manner as is our human nature. People wait for troubles, invite unwanted problems, making life more complicated as they need confusion in life to keep occupied, ultimately leading themselves to stress. If such unwanted stress is not controlled it leads to hypertension, anxiety, frustration, etc. It breaks down a person physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and principally. Therefore, it becomes necessary to control self initiated stress. Unless the mind is not controlled and managed, it becomes difficult to achieve success and peace in making a stress free life possible.

According to psychologists, every interest is first born in the mind as a seed, and then it continues to grow. Later it takes its real form which others can see. The interest that first appears in the mind remains weak for the first three minutes and becomes strong in the next five minutes. All the negative thoughts should be deleted within the first three minutes. If not taken out, they would become stronger later and you can never throw them out. It takes shape even after years. Such accumulation of unwanted negative thoughts and interests become the core of stress.

     Stress is different thing to different people. To students, to executives, to housewives. All have a different perspective towards stress. But the core content remains the same. One should never strive to hasten events or achievements in life. It causes unnecessary stress. Patience leads to gradual progress. A tiny seed sprouts and gradually grows into a tree, full of blossoms and fruits. Does the tree contrive its growth or hastens it up? No. Its growth always remains at its gradual form with affirmed progress.

     Stress is also created by going to extremes. Excess of anything and everything is harmful, whether social or antisocial.

     Once a prince met Lord Buddha, whose ‘presence’ and ‘being’ inspired him to be a monk. The prince was a great musician and led a luxurious life. After initiation, he went to the other extreme. He renounced the worldly pleasures, began fasting vigorously and walked bare foot.

 Buddha inquired, ‘If the strands of the guitar are very loose, can you play good music?’                                                  

‘No,’ replied the prince.

‘If the strands of the guitar are very tight, can you still play good music?’

‘No.’ replied the prince.

‘Therefore, don’t go to the extremes, it is only through right tuning of the strands that good music can be played’ said Buddha.

Similarly, life needs to be balanced properly to keep stability, proper tuning in it. Some easy techniques to fight stress are:

·         Cultivate the power to fight stress.

·         Learn to differentiate between positive and negative thoughts.

·         Accept extra suffering and extra happiness.

·         Find solution to problems.

·         Know the self.

·         Read good books.

·         Keep healthy through meditation, exercise, etc.

·         Develop hobbies.

·         Smile in adversity and make good friends.

·         Curtail greed and expectations.

And above all be happy and satisfied with what you have and ignore that you do not have.

One of the best ways to manage stress is to develop the positive attitude. Looking on the brighter side of life.

It will give mental strength and determination to take stress as a part of life and manage it effectively. Use your time and energy as efficiently as possible. Only then can you enjoy life completely. It will make you look better, feel happier and stay active, independent and more relaxed than those around you.

Look!

Look! The World Is In Your Hands.

     When the new academic season begins, students, graduates and postgraduates, seem to be on the run. Wherever the sight reaches, advertisements of courses, universities, institutes are visible. The season seems to be as colourful and as promising to the young generation.

     Their fantasizing and ambitious minds take them to greener pastures, unaware of the practicalities to be faced on each and every step of these enduring, promising careers. It is a fact that all through the school years the students maybe achieving high grades, may it be academic, sports or extra curricular activities. But the moment they step out of the school, they are at the verge of the turning point in their life.  They are lost in uncertainty. The secure environment of the school is no more available. They feel insecure, lost in the unknown world. It is not that they are ignorant or unaware of the different choices, careers, their capabilities or the options set forth before them with their future opportunities. But it is the decision making that leaves them in a dilemma. Choices may be multiple, but the decision has to be only one. And that one decision makes them helpless, lost.

     It is though not a new dilemma. Time and again every generation has faced these problems. A lot has been discussed, solutions are suggested, professional guidance is provided, but yet it remains an unsolved problem for thousands. The rarest of rare are very clear about their ambitions and even rarer are those who fantasize, follow the path to their ambition and actually achieve it.                      As Orison S. Marden puts it,

“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others, it is in yourself alone.”

     Due to some unfavourable circumstances, students at times do not get admissions to their desired courses. At such times, advice, consolations from parents and teachers also are held unimportant. In such situations, the most essential factor is better understanding, positive and practical attitude towards life. The younger generation should be made to understand that the non attainment of any career is not the end of the world. With the fast pace in professional up gradations, multiple choices have mushroomed. You leave one and you find a multitude. Cherie Carter-Scott has explained it very well,

“Your life has the potential to be a wondrous journey, filled with exciting moments and astonishing experiences. It can be a thrilling ride if you are open to exposing all that is available to you. Adventure is the result of your willingness to live life with a spirit of enthusiasm.”

It is not that failure in one field will lead you to total darkness. One needs to grope in the dark, to find the sparks of light. They should learn to find a way in life, out of any and every situation. If not able to attain one goal, go for the next, if not the next try yet another, but never get discouraged or depressed. Where there is struggle, there is always a way out. Achievements obtained without struggle may not be as enduring and satisfying as the one gained through a lot of struggle. When the fire to gain is ablaze, it can never leave darkness in the vicinity. To keep that fire live it requires determination in thoughts, words and deeds. It is well said, “Our desire should be for that which makes us strong, strong to meet unexpected shocks, depression, chaos, uncertainty. And this strength does not depend on material resources but on poise and mental caliber.”

     Does this sound like a spiritual discourse?

 Probably, Yes. But it is the hard reality of life. It is a fact that concerns thousands of young lives, emotionally, spiritually and monetarily.

     Looking into the future, trying to mould the path to achieve the goal, helps to achieve the ultimate. The ultimate can be achieved when a person can use his mind and intelligence freely. And the mind and intelligence can be used freely only when the mind is composed. When the mind, body and the distractions co-ordinate, it makes a full innate efficiency in whatever work we do. Give full attention to the smallest tasks, do everything with feelings and devotion, it is the best way to build up the habit of concentration. And concentration is the major factor that the present generation lacks. Concentration can unite the self with all things from the lowest to the highest. As a Yogi has truly said,

“Through the mastery of concentration one gains access everywhere, from the atom to the Infinite.”

Khalil Gibran has said further explaining,

“There is a space between man’s imagination and man’s attainment that may only be traversed by his longing.”

     From time to time people encounter these crossroad moments. When one thing appears to be drawing closer, the other seems to be drifting away. We are not prepared for the former to end and the latter to begin. We feel completely lost at a four way intersection. Which direction to traverse. It becomes a great confusion, where we are not able to distinguish between the crossroads as the meeting point of four roads or a junction that disperses into four different directions. It may be a centre to stop and gather maximum power or it may be a centre of complete break down.  Such moments seem to appear to every individual in different age groups. Though early twenties and mid forties are the most eligible groups. We are unable to decide the road to be taken, the career to choose, handling difficult situations, tragedies, losing jobs and so on. There may be innumerable reasons for the occurrence of these precarious stages in life.

“Every generation has the obligation to free men’s minds for a look at new worlds, to look from a higher plateau than the last generation. Your vision is not limited by what you eye can see, but by what your mind can imagine _ _ _ _ .Make your life count and the world will be a better place because you tried.”           ----------    Astronaut, Ellison Onizuka.

     In such situations people either turn inactive due to fear or senselessly fling the self into any unknown fields, as if in a frenzy. Instead of succumbing to frigidity or frenzy, one should calm the mind and listen to the self. This calm cool state of mind will show the way to make further decisions and act accordingly. We must be ready to leave behind the well planned life we had imagined, only to find the life that is awaiting us in its full bounty.

      Look! The world is in your hands, but only when you can see it from every dimension. Turn it, turn around, turn it to find your true place in it.