Stress

Stress. Can you manage it?

    Stress is  the inability to cope with a real or imaginary threat to one’s mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well being, which results in a series of psychological responses and adaptations. It can be caused by good and bad experiences. Stress can not always be avoided. Every individual faces it at one time or other during his life period. Some thrive in stressful situations, while others reach exhaustion.

     Stress is caused by two types of emotional disturbances. External and Internal disturbances. The external disturbances arise out of family responsibilities, economical problems, quarrels, differences in opinions, etc. and cannot be controlled by the self. Internal disturbances can be controlled by the self as they have personal reasons behind them like sickness, tension, overwork, etc. The personal disturbances can also be changeable or unchangeable. Acquired qualities, personality, behaviour, expectations, can be changed. Whereas nature of a person cannot be changed as it is inborn. But nature can be controlled. It is necessary but difficult to control nature. Also, if nature is not controlled, man becomes a slave of nature and if it is controlled, he can become its master.  Nature can be controlled externally through behaviour and internally through understanding.

Nature of a person depends on three major aspects.

1)      Physical aspect – Appearance is what makes our physical nature. If we are fat we wish to become thin and vice versa. One must learn to accept the self in its original form.

2)      Mental aspect – The mental capacity of every human being differs from the other. We must avoid comparisons and imitations.

3)      Personality aspect – There are normally three types of personalities. 

• Aggressive – This type of people have a superiority complex.
• Assertive – These types of individuals have the equality complex and are considered most idealistic.
• Submissive – These individuals suffer from an inferiority complex.

All types of personalities have positive and negative aspects to them. J

     Resilient people accept their responsibilities in life and they understand what has gone wrong, so that they can fix it. They are able to cope because they learn to deal with situations that cause stress and its adversities.

     Stress can be positive or negative. It may be a sense of heightened concentration or of continual sense of being geared up and unable to relax. One’s personality, behaviour and life style influences his stress level. Constant excessive demands in life result in physical exhaustion, fatigue, high BP, insomnia, etc. Its projections are anger, hatred, boredom, frustration, etc.It forms difficulties in studies, disturbed concentration at work, headaches, etc.

     Man is given a mind, body, relations, circumstances, friends, memory, business, everything. Nothing is new, nothing is discovered by man. Whatever we think we have discovered was already there, but it was covered (undisclosed) due to human ignorance. This covered has now changed to discovered. Man has discovered the different ways to combat stress caused by these discoveries. He has realized t he difference between the changeable and the unchangeable things and realities of life.

     Stress management teaches to adopt this method. It teaches to accept the self, the things around us and the circumstances. It teaches to accept the world as it is. It helps to learn to make adjustments. Not to keep expectations from others, not to be a perfectionist and to forget the past. Man should perform his duties and not expect rewards. To act and not to react, because rewards are of four types.

1)      That which meets our expectations.

2)      Which is more than our expectations.

3)      Which is less than our expectations.

4)      Completely unknown.

When any one type of reward is achieved man strives for the other type and therefore faces dissatisfaction and sorrow which leads to stress. When the reality of performing duties without expecting results is accepted, it eliminates stress.

Duties performed with dedication and without any expectations, give pleasure, peace and satisfaction. It results in relief from stress.

     Environmental stress is based on different factors as pollution, noise, unsafe environment, traffic, riots, terrorism, etc. Work related stress emerges when a person works out of his field of interest. It bores and frustrates him. The interference of others at work place, dull environment, competition, multitasking and incapable colleagues affect their stress severely. The person starts complaining about self, family, circumstances, blaming others for every situation, and his efficiency in work starts deteriorating.

Mental dissatisfaction makes a person feel unwanted and useless, he finds life full of limitations, and he desires freedom. These thoughts make a place in his mind, demanding answers. He often asks himself, ‘Why do such things happen to me only?’ He then tries to change himself temporarily and find peace and satisfaction but in vain. This further leads to severe stress. But according to psychotherapy, stress less life cannot be achieved unless we try to stop changing everything around us. The need is to accept everything as it is, even the self, and learn to live with it. Everything in the world is lifeless. It has no capacity to give us happiness or sorrow. Happiness lies within you. We need to know our inner self, the soul. And the soul has no limitations. If this fact is known, peace need not be sought, it will be there with you. As stress originates from the self it cannot give happiness, sadness, advantages or disadvantages, it remains just as it is. No material gain can give peace and happiness forever.

     When we admire the natural things like birds, stars, etc. we accept them as they are. We experience completeness in them and do not try to change anything about them. Therefore, we find happiness in them. They relieve us of any objective thoughts and we do not complain about anything against them. But normally we do not accept other things in the same manner as is our human nature. People wait for troubles, invite unwanted problems, making life more complicated as they need confusion in life to keep occupied, ultimately leading themselves to stress. If such unwanted stress is not controlled it leads to hypertension, anxiety, frustration, etc. It breaks down a person physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and principally. Therefore, it becomes necessary to control self initiated stress. Unless the mind is not controlled and managed, it becomes difficult to achieve success and peace in making a stress free life possible.

According to psychologists, every interest is first born in the mind as a seed, and then it continues to grow. Later it takes its real form which others can see. The interest that first appears in the mind remains weak for the first three minutes and becomes strong in the next five minutes. All the negative thoughts should be deleted within the first three minutes. If not taken out, they would become stronger later and you can never throw them out. It takes shape even after years. Such accumulation of unwanted negative thoughts and interests become the core of stress.

     Stress is different thing to different people. To students, to executives, to housewives. All have a different perspective towards stress. But the core content remains the same. One should never strive to hasten events or achievements in life. It causes unnecessary stress. Patience leads to gradual progress. A tiny seed sprouts and gradually grows into a tree, full of blossoms and fruits. Does the tree contrive its growth or hastens it up? No. Its growth always remains at its gradual form with affirmed progress.

     Stress is also created by going to extremes. Excess of anything and everything is harmful, whether social or antisocial.

     Once a prince met Lord Buddha, whose ‘presence’ and ‘being’ inspired him to be a monk. The prince was a great musician and led a luxurious life. After initiation, he went to the other extreme. He renounced the worldly pleasures, began fasting vigorously and walked bare foot.

 Buddha inquired, ‘If the strands of the guitar are very loose, can you play good music?’                                                  

‘No,’ replied the prince.

‘If the strands of the guitar are very tight, can you still play good music?’

‘No.’ replied the prince.

‘Therefore, don’t go to the extremes, it is only through right tuning of the strands that good music can be played’ said Buddha.

Similarly, life needs to be balanced properly to keep stability, proper tuning in it. Some easy techniques to fight stress are:

·         Cultivate the power to fight stress.

·         Learn to differentiate between positive and negative thoughts.

·         Accept extra suffering and extra happiness.

·         Find solution to problems.

·         Know the self.

·         Read good books.

·         Keep healthy through meditation, exercise, etc.

·         Develop hobbies.

·         Smile in adversity and make good friends.

·         Curtail greed and expectations.

And above all be happy and satisfied with what you have and ignore that you do not have.

One of the best ways to manage stress is to develop the positive attitude. Looking on the brighter side of life.

It will give mental strength and determination to take stress as a part of life and manage it effectively. Use your time and energy as efficiently as possible. Only then can you enjoy life completely. It will make you look better, feel happier and stay active, independent and more relaxed than those around you.