Frantic worker

The Frantic Worker.   

A wife, a mother, a worker, a daughter, a housemaid, a this, a that. How many roles do women play? Why does she do so? Why do they play these multiple roles? And what are its causes and effects?

The negative effects of these multiple roles play havoc in their lives. Women may or may not be aware of it. Fatigue, anxiety, resentment, depression, other health problems are its negative effects. 

Why do women drive themselves frantic or crazy with overwork? It is because they have an inner conflict that they do not wish to show the world. She wants to prove herself and others that she is capable of multitasking. The reason may be gender panic or low self esteem. She backs from her ambitions, accepts homemaking, or she may go to work outside the home. But she never leaves the house. She is not able to make herself completely free or independent of her home or family matters. Sitting in her office she worries about her domestic work or her responsibilities. And this double burden tears her apart and she tries to hide it from the world by becoming a frantic worker. She does not give herself that time to think for herself and her needs and wants.                     “Husbands no longer earn enough in our inflation bloated economy to support their families, so they encourage their wives to get out and earn. But few husbands are willing to do housework. Today’s men want his woman to work at two jobs; one is outside the home, the other inside home. And all the same remain the traditional dominating male. These create conflicts in women’s life, who is conditioned to play a dependent role throughout her life. Though modern woman has changed her garb, she tries to disguise the conflict through drudge work.                            

   As Colette Dowling puts it, “Work, especially if it’s conceived of as the pursuit of one’s own personal development an not just ‘helping out with the bills’ is a way of separating or individuating oneself. Thus, it can be experienced as a going-away from the other scary business indeed. Better to hang back in the marriage. ‘I really care about my family’ becomes the rationale for making a major retreat in life.”                                                  She further says, “Most of us have not yet made a true decision about our lives. Trying to maintain a situation in which we give up neither on independence, nor our dependence, drains us of energy. Consciously, we blame men for not changing, but unconsciously we are willing to have them stay the way they are.”   

And that makes all the difference, to us, to them.