Short story series. Invitation.

The Invitation.

It was late January. The day was cloudy, gloomy, with slight drizzle. The unseasonal rain brought about a strange drowsiness. I was stretched out on my favorite armchair by the window in my house. I was lazy and sleepy.  The weather outside and my lethargy made me feel low and woebegone. My gloomy mind was oscillating back and forth, bringing back some past memories of my college days.

We were a rocking team of four friends. Fun loving and yet creative. Two girls from my batch, Neha and Ria, my childhood friend Tapan and myself.  We were a great company, always together in good and bad times. It was as if we could not live without our team. Today old memories were haunting me.

With the sight of the drizzle, the memories of my first crush in college emerged. She was a new entrant from Pune. Beautiful, tall, long flowing hair, gait and charm, she was irresistible. Everything in her that any man could fall for. With my charming ways and good academic record, I easily impressed her. With passing days she became our team member. She was intelligent, bold, very honest and straightforward. She could not tolerate cheats. As if she had some personal grudge for cheats.  What was the reason nobody knew. With the passing days we came to know more of each other and unknowingly I fell in love with her.

Initially, I kept our friendship going steady but then I realized that she was something more than that. I could not think of anything else accept her. My days and nights were filled with her thoughts.

‘Tara’, I called out to her one evening after class. She stopped and turned around. Her long hair flowing as she turned. A questioning look in those deep blue eyes, a faint smile on her dimpled face, her emerald green dress clung softly to her beautiful body. Her dignified look mesmerized me. And I just kept on staring at her. Silent. Speechless.  I forgot that she was waiting for me to speak.

She came closer, with Neha and Ria. Ria poked at my arm, teasing me. ‘Hey! Are you there?’  She said. And they all burst into peals of laughter.  ‘Hello! Ajit! Where are you?’ Neha said.

I suddenly came back to my senses, feeling embarrassed at my behavior. I blushed with a smile.

Just then my wife walked into the room. Hello Ajit! Where are you? I have been calling you from the kitchen. Where are you lost? The phone is ringing since long. What are you thinking so deeply? And look at you. What is that blush and smile for? What is going on in your dirty mind? She went on, when I realized that I was blushing and smiling with my memories, when I had lost myself to Tara. My wife checked the phone and went back to the kitchen.

I was still in that trance, in my memories.

‘Tara!! Hi! I was thinking if you could help me with my notes and project work. Is it ok with you?’  Finally, I spoke to Tara.

‘Sure,’ she said. ‘Let me know whenever you wish to do so. We can sit in the Library and do the work’

The next day we met in the Library. I approached her directly, because I could no longer play games with myself. I gathered all the courage and decided to talk to her. I told her that I was falling in love with her, that I wished to have a permanent relationship with her, that I was willing to do anything for her, and that the notes and project work were an excuse to spend time with her. I went on and on, pouring my heart out to her and she was there just sitting quietly, staring at me, listening to all that I had to say. After a while I felt silent, I was disturbed by her blank look. As if she was in a stance. She did not budge. No words. No response. I stopped talking. There was a strange silence between us. The silence that was becoming unbearable for me.

‘Tara! What is it? Why are you not responding?’ I could not stop myself asking.                                              ‘Tara! Please say something. I have poured out my heart to you. I love you. I am waiting for your answer. What do you think about me? Do you have something in your mind? Please answer me.’                                     She was silent. Her silence was making me restless now.                                                                                            ‘Tara, please say something!’  I was getting on my nerves now.

A sudden thud of a book falling from the next table brought her to her senses.                                                        ‘Tara! Are you OK?’ I inquired.

The look in her eyes at that moment, still stirs something deep down inside me.  Was it a look of despair or a look  of fear,  I could not understand, but it surely sent a chill down my spine. The innocence, the mirth in them was gone. Instead they looked like balls of ice. Cold and lifeless.        

She nodded in the negative, responding to me after more than ten minutes of my rumbling before her.  ‘No, No, it’s not possible.’  Her words were drenched in fear, a strange uncertainty and suspense in her voice, which was difficult for me to understand.                                                                                                       ‘Why? What’s the matter? Tara!! What are you scared of?  Please tell me. What is it?’ I inquired. I was getting restless, losing control over myself. Her cold, behavior was frustrating me.

‘No Ajit, it’s not possible.’ She said.

‘Why? Why is it not possible? Don’t you trust me?’

‘No. That’s not the matter.’ She paused for a while and then hesitantly said, ‘I am already married.’

The words fell on my ears like lightening, as if my entire world collapsed. I fell numb. I was speechless. No more words.  I could not face the situation. My head whirling, my knees trembling, I felt I would faint. She sat there. Opposite to me. Quiet, lost in her thoughts. After some time, she began to talk.

Suddenly, the door bell rang. I went to the door.  It was a courier from my friend. A wedding invitation. I read it and kept it on the side table. I was happy to receive it. I stretched out again. Unwilling to come out of my memories.

She went on. She was already married, but she had not even seen her husband. Another shock for me.  Her husband had left her on the wedding day. Later she came to know that he did not wish to get married but did so only to hide his identity. He did not ever care to contact her or inquire about her after that day. It had been three years she was married. She had faced innumerable problems. Society made her feel as if she was a curse on earth. Her parents died due to the shock. She had no one to fall back on. She had no siblings, no relatives.

I was speechless. She paused, a tear rolling down her cheek, she said, ‘I have come here in search of my husband. I have got information that he has been residing in this city.’

‘Can I help you in anyway?’ the words fell out formally, without my being aware of it. Not knowing what else to say.

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘Only you can help.’  My heart skipped a beat.

And I was surprised, something more to come.  A huge question mark in my mind.   

 ‘How is that?’ I asked anxiously.                                                                                                                

 ‘What is your full name?’ she asked.                                                                                                                           ‘Why? It is Ajit Sarkar. What has my name to do with your search for your husband?’ I couldn’t stop myself asking.  

Slowly, in a quizzical tone she went on, ‘And who is Ronit Sarkar? He was a  Navy captain, who had murdered one of his colleagues on the ship and had fled.’  She paused for my response but I did not answer, then she continued, ‘He had lived in my town near Pune for eight months in disguise, as a businessman. He made a plan to marry me as my father was a rich businessman and it would be easy for him to hide his identity. He fled on the marriage night without even informing me or my parents, as he was traced. He spoilt my life and left me orphaned.  I am here to take my revenge, to ask him why he did this to me. I want to kill him.’ Her eyes were now balls of fire.

My heart was sinking. Ronit was my elder brother.

She was trembling with anger and just collapsed.  Ria and Neha, who were sitting two tables away from us, immediately came to her help. They took her out of the Library.

No one spoke to me from that day onwards as I was considered a murderer’s brother. Our group broke up.  We were like strangers after that day.  It had been a long time; we had all parted after that last year of graduation. But we parted with grief, with a strange feeling. My brother’s issue had taken away my best friends from me.

I felt glad to receive a marriage invitation from a friend after that time of seperation. It sparked a ray of hope, to meet Ria, Neha and Tapan. A chance to tell them that Ronit was in prison. That I had no relation with him, that I was still their friend. About Tara, I did not know anything. What had happened with her after college.  I had stopped all my approaches towards her after learning her story.

My wife’s call for lunch brought me back into my present.

I decided to go for my friend’s wedding. My wife had some other engagements, so she dropped the idea of joining me.  My ticket was booked for Delhi- Bengaluru flight a day before the wedding.  I was excited to meet old friends and also holding a secret desire to see Tara once more.

Finally, it was the day I long awaited.                                                                

It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi Airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold.

I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend’s wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batchmates. But what I didn’t know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter.

I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60 seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell.

My heart was beating fast.  Tara was right in front of me. I wished to reach out to her, to hold her, to caress her long beautiful hair. As she turned she saw me. And to my great surprise, she immediately looked away, as if looking out for someone. My mind was racing, should I call her? Should I talk to her? Should I make an attempt to clear the doubts she had regarding me? I was unable to decide.

Just then my cell phone whirred. It was my wife, inquiring about my whereabouts. I answered her and turned around.

A chill went down my spine.                                  

My brother Ronit was with her. I had seen him after such a long time. What was he doing here? He was supposed to be in prison. He had changed his appearance, with a beard, moustache and spectacles. A cigar in his hand. And before I could guess anything or approach them or make any assumptions, the duo was taken away to the Custom Officer’s cabin. 

While waiting to check into the flight, with a heavy heart and a confused mind, I came to know that they had been into the business of drug smuggling since last three to four years. That they were husband and wife. That they travelled to different parts of the country for smuggling drugs. Another shock wave for me.  This time it was a bit too hard to swallow.

What was Tara doing at the University campus then?  Why did she make up the story of Ronit and herself? Why did she say she wanted to kill Ronit? Why was she with him now? How could Ronit become such a criminal? We were from a decent family. Well-bred and well off. There was no such need to do this.

 Questions, questions, questions. My mind was racing, my heart thudding.

Tara!! It said, I wish you would be mine. But Alas!!

It was now I knew that Tara was a puzzle.   A Jigsaw puzzle that I could never solve.                                                                                

  Later, at my friend’s wedding I came to know that the entire story made up by Tara was fake. That she was in the University to set up a drug business, to influence the youth in the campus. And she had all the assets to conquer young hearts, and out of it one was of course mine. 

My questions about her were never answered. My love for her never died. I could not make her mine. And yet to this day I sat in the armchair thinking only about her.

It is said that Love is blind. But my love was also deaf, dumb and selfless. It did not expect anything from her but just felt like touching her In spirit and soul.